Wednesday, March 16, 2011

LOVE MARRIAGES - SPEECH 2 - TOAST MASTERS - BANGALORE




Maine Pyar Kiya” – I Hope most of you have seen this movie of Salman Khan.
A Beautiful Love Story of a Rich Boy and a Middle Class Girl showing emotions of Love and Sacrifice.
“When the Love is Genuine, Parents may Accept it.” 
Good Evening Madam Toast Master, Fellow Toast Masters and Distinguished Guests.
Falling in Love with someone is a Wonderful experience.  Isn’t Nice to have Smart, Attractive and Wealthy person as our Spouse?  Added to it, if they are Caring, Sharing and Understanding, it will be Superb.
“My friend of many years – Satyanarayana happened to be a Lucky person.  He met Geetha at a Typing Institute; both of them fell in love with each other. After 2 years of courtship, they got married.
We friends helped them get married and settle down.  They are leading a Happy and Harmonious Life with their children. I think “Marriages are really made in Heaven”.  
It was a Rainy Day in August 2005. I was in the High Court. An unknown Couple approached me. They wanted information to get “Divorce” on Mutual Consent.  I looked at them and found that they were made for Each Other.  I wondered why they wanted Divorce! 
I was reluctant to speak to them.  Generally, people would come to court premises or approach an advocate for Free Information. (Smile) They  mentioned that they were in difficulty and needed my help.
Their story went thus:  
Both of them were Software Engineers; Colleagues; working in an IT Company.  They were in Love for about 1 year and decided to get married with their Parent’s consent.
The girl’s parents objected. The boy had no Father and his mother was dependent on him.   Despite the opposition, they got married. 
Their Employer insisted one of them to quit the job, due to their policy.  The wife quit her job.  She joined another company.  Unfortunately, both had different shifts. This continued for more than six months. 
The husband and his mother wanted the wife to quit the job. However, she refused. Because of this, the husband became furious.
In the meanwhile, the wife’s mother fell seriously ill. She wanted to visit them.  However, the Husband forbid her from going, due to the Insult and Humiliation meted before their marriage. This created a deeper rift in their relationship.
Likewise, one or the other ego problems would crop up in their life. The tipping point came, when the lady aborted her pregnancy as Revenge, without even informing her husband.  When the husband came to know about this, he threw her out of his house.
She went to her parent’s home but they did not allow her to stay there.  She stayed at PG Hostel and started working from there.  They lived separately for 7 months, without any communication between them.
Under these circumstances the couple decided to Divorce each other. 
I was saddened by their Troubles and sincerely felt like helping them out.
Instead of suggesting Divorce, I explained them where they went wrong and how they could have handled the situations. Further I counseled them about the consequences of Divorce on their Life.
I asked them to forget the past and live together, without imposing any conditions on each other. They liked the idea and assured me that they will give their marriage one last chance.  
After about one year, they called me and thanked for my timely help.  They said that they were very happy and that they were expecting a Child. 
Dear Toastmasters, We get to see Successful Love Marriages as well as broken Love Marriages.  
If the Couples can give up their false egos and take decisions based on Mutual Respect and Understanding, the family courts wouldn’t have, as many Divorce Petitions as we see today.
Marriage is Sacrosanct and is built on Compromise and Sacrifice. After all Love Marriage is about the loved one & not about “I, ME or MYSEF”!
I conclude by quoting Dave Meurer:   A Great Marriage is not when the perfect couple' comes together. It is when an Imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.